Friday, December 2, 2011

My Role as a Wife-Submisison

Ouch, submission. In this day and age, that is considered so degrading and unacceptable.  I certainly thought that for years.  And to be honest, still often do.

However, God has graciously shown me over the last few years, that when I accepted the role of 'wife' to Drew, He expected certain things of me, whether I knew it at the time or not.

God, for some reason or other, chose the family as the means of carrying on civilization.  And within that family, he placed various roles to be played, to facilitate 'His story'.  Because we are all sinners, we mess up lots, which gives Him more chances to show his mercy and grace and love and forgiveness.  But, let's face it, life is easier if we stick to the natural laws as closely as possible.

Well, I 'knew' about submission, but really had no desire to actually do it.  Nor, frankly, did I have the ability to do it.  It wasn't who I was.  I married as 'little miss independent' and had every intention of staying that way.  My husband didn't really mind either, for the most part.   But, it just doesn't jive well, long term.  And when life got rough, marriage started to get really rough.  And slowly, ever so slowly, I started to get the 'big picture' of why God designed marriage the way he did.

I started seeing how I messed things up, when Drew's way would have been better to begin with.  That was humbling at first, but when things got really messed up, my pride was so low, it didn't really hurt it much to admit that.  Not AS much anyway.  And the disease became worse then the cure.  That is always a good thing.

As God slowly opened my eyes to see Drew's natural abilities of leadership, as well as his God-given role of authority in the home, I started to get the vision and got quite excited about it all. Of course, things would happen to test my resolve and as often as not, I'd take the reigns of our life back again.  But I almost always messed things up, and I DO learn-after awhile.  About 10 times I'm finding I need, to really grasp a lesson.

Money has been one of our biggest issues.  As it is in the vast majority of marriages from what I hear.  And we fell deep into credit card debt.  I, of course, blamed my sweet hubby and wouldn't let him anywhere near the finances.  And he really didn't mind that, so it worked for 10 years.  Well, sort of.  $25,000 debt later, we were barely holding our noses above water.  So, once again, God showed me that it was time to let the reigns go.  I didn't want to, but I finally got to a point where I couldn't handle the stress of logging onto our bank account and seeing if we were overdrafted.  So... I handed it over to Drew. By dribs and drabs at first, but for the most part, I've given it up and Drew has taken over.  And you know something really weird?  We have actually had money for the bills and groceries since he started.  It makes no sense. His paycheck hasn't gone up any, and our expenses certainly have not dropped.  But every month he tells me what I have to spend on groceries, and I'm amazed!

I think, somehow, this is God's way of 'blessing' us, as we seek to fulfill our roles in our marriage, and in his overall plan of redemption in general.  It's small, and a bit strange.  But, I'll take it!

And, to test my resolve, Drew bought something that in the past has driven me bonkers to find out about.  My first thought was that I must take over the finances again.  Obviously HE wasn't capable of doing them if he spends money on THAT!  But, the Holy Spirit gently reminded me that Drew had just paid all the bills AND told me how much money I had for groceries for the month.  Obviously he was capable of spending our money well.  And, even if I don't think that was a good purchase, it was obvious that God is blessing us as we make the 'hard' choices to live life the way He has asked us to.  I processed the purchase, and the blessings and was able to give thanks to God for taking care of us  and let it go.  First time EVER!!!!  Woo hoo!!!

Another blessing that we are still reaping, when I submitted to Drew, happened 2 years ago.  I had been asking (read: nagging) him to cancel the credit card ever since we got married.  And he came close, but never could actually say yes.  I came close, numerous times, to just doing it without his permission, but thankfully never actually did it.  Well, he was vacillating for over a year, and it was killing me!  Just.say.yes!!!  But, finally, he decided he was ready.  I hadn't even been nagging him about it for some time!  We talked about the possibilities, whats, whys and hows, and he told me to cancel it.  Quickly before he changed his mind.  I waited a few days, and verified again before calling them.  When I told them what I was doing, they switched me over to some other part of their vast infrastructure.  The person actually spoke English, and while I was waiting to find out what interest rate they would offer me, the woman came on the line and said she had set us up for a zero percent interest loan!  I had to have her repeat it a few times, I couldn't believe it.  Zero percent, nothing, nada.  We wouldn't have to pay a single penny of interest on it again!  After recovering from my shock and hanging up, I did a happy dance, thanked the Lord, and promptly called my mother, who did a happy dance and prayer in Iowa for us.  :)  We still talk about it.  But that was a huge confirmation to me, that handing over the reigns to Drew, even though I seemed more competent in the money area on the outside, was what was honoring to God. 

And that is, after all, what Christians should strive for in their daily life.  Honoring God is ALL we do.  And sometimes that means letting go of 'reality' and doing things God's way. 

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