Wow, I've been on this 'food journey' for three years now. We've come so far in that time. We have a long ways to go, but that will probably always be the case. I posted here right after I had found the Weston Price Foundation through 'The Omnivore's Dilemma' and I couldn't believe it, it was just what I was looking for. And boy, I had NO idea what I was getting into at the time! But God was so gracious to lead me to find other people's research about how traditional cultures ate in ways that allowed them to carry on free of modern medicine and free of modern disease (isn't that, after all, what brought on the modern medicine?).
It was nice because January (2008) of that year, my pastor had an alter call and I was addicted, at that time, to sugar. In a huge way. I was eating a bag of candy or chips or a container of ice cream every couple of days. I would go out before anyone was awake and buy whatever I could find at the CVS a block away. And I would hide it in the laundry basket, which happens to be in my kitchen. I was the only one to do laundry, so I wasn't worried about being 'found out'. But oh, it was so awful. I was truly in bondage and it was a horrible feeling! But yet, after it was gone, I would start to panic and go out and buy more. Literally, I had to scrape for coins sometimes as we didn't have any money or I didn't want to use the debit card in case Drew checked. It was such an awful feeling. I was gaining weight and feeling awful. I needed that 'boost' first thing in the morning. I even woke up in the middle of the night sometimes to have some. And I lived in a state of panic that the kids or Drew would find the food or smell it on my breathe. And I found I needed more and more just to survive the day. I would be 'elated' and in a great mood when I first bought something, and then when it was almost gone, I'd start to panic. I truly came to realize the awful bondage of drugs and alcohol. Ugh!
Anyway, when my pastor showed the video of 'that closet' in our lives that the Holy Spirit wanted in, but we wouldn't let him in, I knew my closet was my food addiction (no it wasn't food I was addicted to, it was the chemicals). He had all the congregation take the 'key' to that closet in their life and put it up front and lay it in a pile on the alter. Everyone around me went. My husband went. But I couldn't. It was really neat to see everyone go and pray that God would give them the courage to stick it out. But I knew I couldn't. I told Drew what it was and why I couldn't give it up. I wanted to, oh I wanted to do it so bad. But I knew simply saying no wasn't the answer. I had done that almost every time my 'stash' ran out, but failed miserably every time. I was discouraged and wasn't ready to give my key, only to take it back again. But I did pray in my heart and beg God to show me what was wrong. I knew my cravings meant I was missing something. I knew there was a lot more to this 'food' thing then I was currently getting. But I had no idea what it was. I was tired of science contradicting itself. I couldn't pretend to give up, only to take it back. I promised God I would do whatever he told me I needed to do. But it took more then will power. I was going to need the Creator's advice on how to meet the needs of my body.
And shortly thereafter, I found Weston Price Foundation. And I knew I had to get a copy of Nourishing Traditions. Lucky for me, a local library had a copy and I went out and borrowed it as soon as I could. I was amazed and in awe as I read it. I knew it was the answer. I knew it was what God was telling me I needed to do to get over my addiction. Oh, it was overwhelming and I knew it was going to consume me for some time. But I also knew that I had promised God I would do whatever I needed to get over my addiction, and I knew this was what he was telling me to do. It was nice to have answers, but man was it going to be work!
Sure enough, I spent the next 2 years reading, reading, reading. My poor family lost me. I was so consumed by learning and understanding and implementing. I wish it hadn't had to be that way, but I believe it's the only way I am able to learn and implement things in my life. I upset and irritated and hurt a lot of people along the way. But God slowly grew me in confidence and then his grace.
And oh the lessons I've learned along the way. We had other major problems besides my addiction, although that was the main impetus at that time to get me started good and solid. And I knew it was all related, but I didn't know how exactly. I read and read and read. I wish I had blogged more along the journey, but I was so overwhelmed, I couldn't do any more then read and process and implement during the beginning stages.
We were not, at that time, eating meals as a family. Ugh, I wasn't cooking at all. I realized the other day that I used to get so mad at my husband for eating out in the city at work. But yet, I never cooked at home for him. What in the world was I expecting him to do? Go hungry. He did and he was a mes. Ugh! Hind-sight is 20/20, and now I realize how utterly unreasonable I was, but at the time, it seemed perfectly justifiable. Ugh!
I knew I needed to cook and we should eat as a family, but I was so utterly clueless as what to cook. With Myia's issues, I was afraid she could be allergic to just about everything under the sun. We eliminated things now and then, but never saw any change. So I was so overwhelmed.
I realized what I really needed to know was what the body needed. And boy did I find the answers to that question. Well, mostly. :)
So, 3 years ago today, I started on my journey to traditional eating. And I thank God often, for setting me on that journey.
And, last month, my pastor showed the closet video and had the congregation bring up their 'keys' to allow the Holy Spirit to clean it out. This time I was able to bring it up and I was so thankful! He has worked on many other areas of my life in those 3 years, and I have many, many things that need work. And, as I have learned, I take a long time to learn a lesson well. This year I believe he is going to teach me balance and grace. And I'm so excited to learn those things! But I was grateful to tears to realize the work that God had done in my life since the last time I heard that 'call'.
But they are another post, or 2.